(DC Pundit) – In a bizarre turn of events that sounds more like the plot of a B-movie sci-fi flick than real life, New Jersey officials are scratching their heads over mysterious drones buzzing through the Garden State’s skies. But wait, it gets better – Belleville Mayor Michael Melham has decided to spice things up by suggesting these aerial interlopers might be on a scavenger hunt for missing radioactive material. Because why not?
“We’ve got drones flying around in a grid pattern like they’re playing some high-stakes game of Battleship,” Melham quipped on Good Day New York. “In my expert opinion as a small-town mayor who’s clearly watched too many episodes of ‘The X-Files,’ they’re looking for something. And that something might just be radioactive material.”
Now, before you start fashioning tinfoil hats and stocking up on canned goods, let’s break this down. According to a Nuclear Regulatory Commission alert, some radioactive material decided to play hooky on December 2nd. Melham, clearly auditioning for a role in the next Marvel movie, explained, “It was a shipment. It arrived at its destination. The container was damaged, and it was empty.” Ah yes, the classic “the dog ate my homework” excuse, but with potentially catastrophic consequences.
Melham, frustrated with the lack of information, told Good Day, “The powers that be are being about as transparent as a lead-lined bunker, and it’s doing nothing but fueling conspiracy theories online.” Because if there’s one thing the internet needs more of, it’s unfounded speculation.
NEW: Belleville, New Jersey mayor Michael Melham says radioactive material in New Jersey went missing on December 2nd.
The mayor suggested the material may have come through Port Newark.
“We’re aware of a threat that came in through Port Newark. Maybe that's radioactive… pic.twitter.com/Hzd06X2S9j
— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) December 17, 2024
When asked about his thoughts on the drones’ identity, Melham channeled his inner Captain Obvious: “I can tell you what it’s not. We know for a fact it’s not little green men.” Well, thank goodness for that groundbreaking insight. He added, “And more than likely, it’s not a foreign adversary, because they would be able to figure out how to turn off the blinking lights.” Because apparently, in Melham’s world, foreign spies are tech-savvy enough to pilot advanced drones but struggle with the complexities of an on/off switch.
For those of you keeping score at home, here’s what we actually know: The United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission reported that some radioactive material went AWOL in Newfield, New Jersey, on December 3, 2024. The material in question is a Ge-68 pin source (Eckert & Ziegler model HEGL-0132) with approximately 0.267 mCi of activity. It was supposed to be shipped for disposal but apparently decided to take a detour.
The NRC, in a statement that reads like a lost and found notice for the world’s most dangerous game of hide-and-seek, said, “The shipping container arrived at its destination damaged and empty. The licensee has filed a claim with the shipper. If the source is not located within 30 days, the licensee will follow up with a full written report to include root cause(s) and corrective actions.”
So, there you have it. We’ve got missing radioactive material, mystery drones, and a mayor who seems to think he’s starring in his own version of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” It’s like a New Jersey-themed episode of “Stranger Things,” minus the cool 80s soundtrack and with a lot more potential for widespread panic.
While we wait for this radioactive whodunit to unfold, perhaps it’s time for New Jersey residents to brush up on their Geiger counter skills. After all, you never know when you might need to check if your morning bagel is glowing a little too brightly.
And as for Mayor Melham, maybe it’s time to switch from late-night sci-fi marathons to some good old-fashioned bureaucratic paperwork. The truth is out there, Mr. Mayor – it’s just probably buried under a mountain of incident reports and regulatory red tape.
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