(DC Pundit) – Chelsea Handler took center stage at the Critics Choice Awards this past Friday. The former TV host, whose career trajectory resembles a game of Whac-A-Mole with canceled shows popping up and disappearing faster than you can say “Netflix original,” certainly didn’t hold back.
Handler, in her third consecutive year as the awards show’s emcee (because apparently, the third time is the charm), kicked off the night with a joke aimed at former First Lady Melania Trump. Handler quipped, “It was a huge year for biopics … Anora, about Melania Trump.” For those not in the know, “Anora” is a 2024 film about a “young sex worker from Brooklyn” who “meets and impulsively marries the son of an oligarch.” Subtle as a brick through a window, isn’t she?
But why stop at one target? Handler swiftly moved on to Cheryl Hines, wife of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., with a jab that landed somewhere between clever and cringe-worthy. “Actors who didn’t win anything tonight will just be in the background, questioning your life choices, like Cheryl Hines at a Senate confirmation hearing,” Handler remarked.
Not content with personal attacks, Handler broadened her scope to tackle political issues. She took a swipe at President Donald Trump’s efforts to eliminate Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) policies by calling herself a DEI hire.
Chelsea Handler hosting Friday night’s #CriticsChoiceAwards: “It was a huge year for biopics….Anora, about Melania Trump.” (IMDb on Anora: “A young sex worker from Brooklyn meets and impulsively marries the son of an oligarch.” pic.twitter.com/qiZGajwHAW
— Brent Baker 🇺🇦 🇮🇱 (@BrentHBaker) February 8, 2025
Handler then went for the sympathy vote, saying, “I wanna acknowledge that we’ve been through a lot lately … our entire country, waking up every day, not knowing what news we’re gonna hear that will disappoint and horrify us.”
Let us not forget, this is the same Chelsea Handler who, at the ripe old age of 40, had an epiphany that the sun and moon were, in fact, not the same celestial body. In a moment of candor that would make even flat-earthers cringe, Handler admitted to Jimmy Fallon last year, “This is true. I didn’t know until I was 40 years old that the sun and the moon were not the same thing.”
This earth-shattering revelation came to Handler during an elephant ride in Africa when her sister pointed out both the sun and moon in the sky. Handler’s response? “I was like Scooby Doo. I’m like, ‘Ruh, what?'” Did she think the moon was just the sun wearing a night light? That the sun moonlighted as… well, the moon?
Chelsea Handler has proven that, at least in her world, no astronomical fact is too basic to be misunderstood. Hopefully by next year’s show, she’ll have figured out that stars aren’t just holes poked in the sky’s black blanket.
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